The perfectly level scale—career on one side, family on the other, with health and personal interests squeezed in between is mathematically impossible. There are 168 hours in a week, and the numbers simply don’t add up to equal distribution. Something always gets shortchanged, leaving you feeling like you’re failing at everything.
I no longer believe in work-life balance. It’s a myth that sets us up for perpetual disappointment and guilt.
The Mathematical Impossibility of Balance
The word “balance” implies equal distribution—50% here, 50% there. Or in the case of work, family, health, and personal interests, maybe 25% to each. But that mathematical approach to life is fundamentally flawed.
There are 168 hours in a week. If we allocate:
- 40 hours to work (and that’s conservative for many)
- 56 hours to sleep (8 hours nightly)
- 21 hours to meals and basic self-care
- 15 hours to commuting and transitions
That leaves just 36 hours—about 5 per day—for everything else: family time, relationships, exercise, hobbies, community involvement, household management, and unexpected crises.
The math doesn’t work. Something always gets shortchanged.
But the problem goes deeper than numbers. The concept of balance suggests that work and life are opposing forces—as if work isn’t part of life, or family time exists in isolation from the rest of our existence.
The Seasonal Reality of Life
What if, instead of fighting against nature, we learned from it? Nature doesn’t balance winter and summer evenly across each day—and neither should we expect life to.
Instead of daily equilibrium, I’ve come to embrace a different model: life moves in seasons.
There are times when different areas naturally and necessarily take precedence. Seasons I’ve experienced include:
The Career Intensity Season
When I opened that second athletic club location, work genuinely needed more of my time and energy. Systems were being built, relationships formed. This wasn’t failure—it was a necessary, temporary season of focus.
The Family Focus Season
When our children were born or navigating major transitions, family came first. Career ambitions took a back seat. Again—not failure, just a shift in season.
The Health Intervention Season
After neglecting physical health for too long, I entered a season where rebuilding my health was the top priority. Other areas flexed to make space.
The Learning and Growth Season
At times, self-development—education, skill-building, and inner work required dedicated attention. These seasons ultimately benefited all areas of life but required temporary reallocation of time and energy.
✅ Takeaway: Life moves in seasons—different priorities take the lead at different times. This isn’t imbalance. It’s sustainability.
Zooming Out: The Long View of Balance
One of the most helpful shifts has been learning to zoom out. Instead of asking, “Did I achieve balance today?” I now ask, “Am I moving toward balance over time?”
On a daily scale, balance feels impossible. But over a month or year, I see how attention flows more sustainably between priorities.
Over five years, I’ve moved through career intensity followed by family focus; health neglect followed by recovery. It’s not equal at any moment, but zoomed out—it evens.
That shift has been freeing. It releases the pressure of perfect daily allocation and invites longer-term alignment.
✅ Takeaway: Zoom out. True balance shows up over months and years—not in perfect daily slices.
The Rhythm Alternative
Instead of equal distribution, I’ve come to rely on rhythms—the natural cadence of attention and energy across life.
Daily Rhythms
Even in career-heavy seasons, some things stay sacred: a morning check-in with my spouse, bedtime rituals with the kids, a short walk, a moment of reflection. These aren’t equal slices; they’re lifelines.
Weekly Rhythms
Some domains thrive on weekly, not daily, touchpoints: family nights, date nights, personal hobbies, deeper workouts. They don’t need daily attention to remain vibrant.
Seasonal Rhythms
Big shifts—project sprints, vacation time, or school schedules naturally create seasonal flows. Recognizing and working with them prevents burnout and creates sustainability.
✅ Takeaway: Build around daily, weekly, and seasonal rhythms instead of forcing daily equal distribution.
Communicating About Seasons
One of the biggest challenges is communicating seasonal shifts with loved ones. When work ramps up, how do I help my family understand it’s temporary—without making them feel less important?
Naming the season helps:
“We’re in a season where work needs more attention because of this project. It should last about three months, and then we’ll reset.”
Concrete timeframes matter:
“This will require extra hours until June 15th, and then I’m taking a week off.”
Compensatory planning helps people feel seen:
“I’ll be fully engaged with work for the next six weeks, but we’ve got a four-day trip booked right after. And I’ll be coaching soccer Wednesday afternoons next month.”
Regular check-ins prevent resentment:
“How’s this rhythm working for you? What’s off? What needs adjusting?”
✅ Takeaway: Communicate seasons clearly—name them, time them, and plan recovery to maintain trust and connection.
The Freedom of Seasonal Thinking
Seasons over balance has been freeing in four key ways:
1. Reduced Guilt and Mental Load
Letting go of perfect balance freed up energy for actually showing up.
2. Permission to Fully Engage
I stopped mentally multitasking. When I work, I work. When I’m home, I’m present.
3. Strategic Decisions
I now evaluate new opportunities based on the current season, not just how busy I feel.
4. More Gratitude for Each Phase
Each season—career sprints, quiet family time, deep learning—brings its own rewards when I embrace them fully.
✅ Takeaway: You don’t need perfect balance. You need presence. Seasonal thinking makes that possible.
Practical Tools for Seasonal Living
A few tools help make this mindset real:
- At the start of each year, I sketch a loose seasonal life map—upcoming projects, family milestones, health goals.
- Every weekend, I spend 10 minutes previewing the week. What’s the main focus? What can drop to maintenance mode?
- Each day, I choose one small anchor in each domain: one work win, one family moment, one health habit, one personal practice.
- Every few months, I review: Is this season still serving me or is it time to shift?
✅ Takeaway: Use seasonal maps, weekly previews, daily anchors, and quarterly reviews to live rhythmically and intentionally.
The Paradox of Imbalance
Ironically, the most “balanced” life often requires intentional imbalance.
- A fulfilling career may need deep-focus seasons.
- A thriving family may need periods of heavy investment.
- A strong body or mind might need short-term intensity.
These aren’t failures. They’re the cost of wholeness.
✅ Takeaway: Conscious imbalance in service of long-term alignment is strength—not chaos.
The Courage to Be Where You Are
Seasonal living requires courage—the courage to be fully where you are, without guilt about where you’re not.
Work season? You’ll miss family moments.
Family season? Career may feel paused.
Health season? Everything else might slow down.
The point isn’t to silence the tension—it’s to create a framework that makes peace with it.
✅ Takeaway: The goal isn’t perfection. It’s presence.
From Balance to Wholeness
What we’re really after isn’t balance—it’s wholeness.
Wholeness means the right things get attention over time, even if not equally at all times. It comes from rhythmic, conscious living—not rigid equal parts.
I still have days when I feel pulled apart. But now I ask:
- Am I in the right season?
- Am I focused on the right thing right now?
- Am I maintaining just enough connection elsewhere?
- Am I being clear with the people who matter?
If I can say yes, I’m not failing. I’m succeeding, at seasonal living.
And over time, that’s what creates a life that’s not perfectly balanced, but deeply whole.
Try This Week:
Name your current season. What truly needs your attention most? Give it a rough timeframe. Tell the people who matter. That small act could be your biggest win this week.
The Focused Fool Newsletter – Growing As Men. Leading As Fathers.
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