Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
By Geoff Griffin
I never thought I’d need “discipline” to be a good dad.
I thought love would be enough. I thought instinct would kick in. I thought I’d just figure it out as I went.
But somewhere between late-night diaper changes, work stress, and losing my temper during a bedtime meltdown, I realized something:
I wasn’t being the dad I wanted to be — I was reacting, not leading.
That’s when I stumbled into something I now call Dadcipline.
It’s not a program. Not a life hack. It’s more like a mindset — a practice.
It’s about showing up with purpose, even when I’m tired, frustrated, or unsure what I’m doing.
I’m not writing this as an expert. I’m just a guy trying to do better.
But if you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly messing up as a father… maybe Dadcipline could help you too.
What is Dadcipline?
Dadcipline is the daily practice of leading yourself as a father — with purpose, consistency, and humility.
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about staying grounded in your values when everything feels overwhelming.
When I started paying attention to where I was struggling, I noticed four main areas where I needed more discipline — or, more accurately, more Dadcipline.
The 4 Key Areas Dadcipline Helps Me With
1. Emotional Control
Let’s start with the hardest one.
I never wanted to be the dad who yelled. But I’ve lost it more than once over spilled milk, bedtime battles, or backtalk.
The truth? I wasn’t in control of my emotions — my emotions were in control of me.
Dadcipline in this area means:
Responding, not reacting. Taking a breath before the blow-up. Owning my tone, not just my words.
How I’m working on this:
- Micro-pauses: I literally pause and count to three when I feel triggered. Sounds simple, but it helps.
- Name the emotion: “I’m feeling frustrated right now” helps me create space between the feeling and the action.
- Apologize quickly: Not just to check the box, but to model emotional accountability for my kids.
2. Consistency in Habits
There’s this gap between the kind of dad I want to be and the one I am on autopilot.
That gap is mostly made of inconsistency — in routines, boundaries, follow-through.
Dadcipline here is about:
Building small, reliable habits that communicate safety, structure, and love — even when life is chaotic.
How I’m working on this:
- One anchor routine: For me, it’s bedtime. No matter how the day went, I show up for that moment.
- The 2-minute rule: If a habit (like setting out clothes or prepping lunches) takes 2 minutes or less, I do it now.
- Checklists: Not to control everything, but to keep my brain from burning out trying to remember it all.
3. Time + Attention Management
I used to say, “I’m doing all this for my family” while barely being with my family.
Dadcipline in this area is about:
Being intentional with time. It’s about presence — not just proximity.
And yes, that includes putting down my phone.
How I’m working on this:
- One distraction-free block: 30–60 minutes with no phone, no TV, just time with my kids every evening.
- Time audits: Once a week I review how I spent my time. It’s eye-opening.
- Sabbath-style breaks: I pick one time slot a week with no agenda — just to be fully available.
4. Self-Leadership
This one surprised me.
I thought being a better dad was about doing more for my kids. But often, it’s about doing more for myself — not selfishly, but to stay rooted and healthy.
Dadcipline here means:
Taking ownership of my growth. Setting a vision. Keeping promises to myself.
Because if I can’t lead myself, how can I lead my family?
How I’m working on this:
- Morning micro-routine: I journal for 5 minutes or just sit in silence with coffee before the day starts.
- Weekly reflection: Sunday night, I ask: What worked? What didn’t? What do I want to try differently?
- Brotherhood check-ins: I text one friend each week and ask, “How are you really doing?” We hold each other up.
What I’ve Learned (and Keep Learning)
Some days I crush it.
Some days I snap.
Some days I forget everything I just wrote here.
But every day, I try to come back to this practice.
Because the kind of father I want to be — calm, grounded, present, playful, strong — doesn’t happen by accident.
It takes Dadcipline.
Final Thoughts
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or discouraged, remember: you’re not broken, and you’re not behind. Perhaps it’s time to incorporate some Dadcipline into your life.
We’re not chasing perfection; we’re choosing growth.
It’s crucial for our families to witness us striving each day to become better men, fathers, and providers. Our children benefit from seeing us encounter challenges, experience setbacks, and persistently continue forward. They don’t need to see us always succeed; they need to see us remain committed despite difficulties.
So, embrace your Dadcipline and give it a try.
The Focused Fool Newsletter – Growing as Men. Leading as Fathers.
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