If life came with a GPS, mine would have spent years saying ‘Recalculating…’ while I ignored it and kept driving in circles.
I used to think that life was something that would just happen to me. I was convinced that if I checked all the right boxes—graduate high school, go to college, get a job—everything would fall into place. But what I didn’t realize was that I wasn’t actually living. I was just going through the motions, drifting wherever the current took me, assuming that one day I’d magically arrive at a destination called “Purpose.”
The Moment of Realization
I remember the exact moment I started questioning things. I was fresh out of college, and a coworker asked me what I was passionate about. I had no answer. None. If you had asked me years earlier, I would have said football. But injuries had taken that from me a long time ago. So, instead of finding something new to pour myself into, I had just…checked out. I numbed myself with video games, alcohol, and whatever distractions I could find. Looking back, I now realize I was doing everything I could to avoid asking myself the tough questions: Who am I? Who do I want to be? What actually matters to me?
Always Looking Forward—or Backward
For so long, I had lived in the future. In high school, I told myself that life would begin once I got to college. In college, I figured things would make sense once I graduated. Then I graduated, and—surprise!—I still had no clue what I wanted. Suddenly, my habit of looking forward shifted into looking back. I longed for the days when I felt excitement and purpose, back when I had something that made me feel alive. For years, I thought happiness was waiting just over the next horizon—graduate high school, get to college, land the right job. But every time I arrived, the finish line moved again. Turns out, the future wasn’t a magic portal; it was a treadmill. But I had never truly been present in the now.
Learning to Be Present
It took me a long time to break that cycle. And let’s be honest—I still struggle with it. I have goals, plenty of them, but I no longer live with the mindset of “I’ll be happy when…” because that game has no finish line. Every time I reached a milestone, there was always another one waiting. Happiness, fulfillment, purpose—they were always just out of reach, dangling in front of me like a carrot on a stick. But when I learned to slow down, to be grateful for where I was, and to actually enjoy the process, something shifted. The outcome started to matter less, and the journey itself became enough—as long as I was giving it my all and living in alignment with my values.
Taking Control of the Wheel
This is why I pursue becoming a better man, husband, and father. Not because I think one day I’ll finally “arrive,” but because the pursuit itself is what makes life meaningful. In today’s world, it’s easy to be a passenger in our own lives, to let things happen to us rather than taking the wheel. But if we want to wake up, to truly live with purpose, we have to pause long enough to take control. We have to stop waiting for life to start and start living it now.
How to Become More Present and Find Purpose
So how do we do that? How do we become more present and discover our purpose? Here are a few simple but powerful habits that I have found help me. It starts with small, intentional practices.
- Journaling can help clarify thoughts and bring awareness to what truly matters.
- Yoga and mindfulness exercises train us to be in the moment rather than lost in the past or future.
- Spending time in nature, away from distractions, can provide clarity.
- Setting aside time for self-reflection on personal values and what genuinely excites us can offer insight into what we should be pursuing.
- Taking time away from constant distractions is also crucial. I’ve found that when I exercise without music, podcasts, or audiobooks, I’m forced to sit with my thoughts. It’s in those quiet moments that I process, reflect, and marinate in the deeper questions of life.
- Taking action—trying new things, stepping out of our comfort zones, and embracing challenges—helps us uncover purpose through experience. Nothing shakes you out of complacency like signing up for something that makes you question all your life choices—like a triathlon or parenting.
The Power of Embracing Challenges
When I feel stuck or in a rut, I have found that committing to something hard and that scares me helps me break through and reach another level. It’s uncomfortable, but discomfort is the price of growth. Jordan Peterson put it best: “If you’re not willing to be a fool then you’ll never start anything new, and if you never start anything new then you won’t develop.”
So stop waiting for the perfect moment—there isn’t one. Here’s a challenge—do one thing this week that forces you to be present. Take a walk without your phone, journal for five minutes, or sign up for that thing that terrifies you. Let’s stop waiting and start living. Life is happening right now. Take the wheel, make some mistakes, and if all else fails, at least you’ll have a good story to tell.
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