If 12-year-old you could see your life today, would he high-five you or shake his head in disappointment? Do you remember what you imagined your life would be like?
I remember wanting to be an architect and, more than anything, to be a husband and a father. If my 12-year-old self looked into the future and saw me now, I think he’d be pretty excited. I have four great kids, a beautiful wife, and a solid job as a construction project manager. He might not be so excited about the whole being bald part, but hey, we can’t have it all.
That excitement, however, wouldn’t have always been there. If that same 12-year-old boy had looked at me 10 or 20 years ago, he might not have been as thrilled. I wasn’t married until I was 30, and kids came even later. I jumped around from job to job, probably drank too much, was a bit overweight, and yes—still bald.
This simple question has shaped my perspective in three major ways—each one helping me realign my life with the things that truly matter.
1. It Helps You Make Course Corrections
A decade ago, when my answer was “no,” it forced me to ask, “What would 12-year-old me want me to change?” One thing about 12-year-old me—he wasn’t known for being subtle. He wanted a life filled with challenge, discovery, and experiences that made every day feel a little bigger than the last. He didn’t dream about sitting in a cubicle, scrolling mindlessly through his phone, or putting off things he cared about because he was “too busy.”
This question helped me make some key changes: getting healthier, prioritizing relationships, and thinking bigger about what I wanted to accomplish.
And sure, 12-year-old me might wonder why I am still walking everywhere and not riding a hoverboard like Marty McFly, but he’d probably give me a pass for doing my best.
2. It Puts Stress and Doubt in Perspective
There are days when life feels overwhelming—stress at work, kids acting like the apocalypse is here because their sandwich was cut the wrong way, or just the general feeling of being stretched too thin. But when I stop and ask myself this question, I realize something important:
My 12-year-old self would be pumped. He would see the things I sometimes take for granted—family, a home, real responsibilities—and he’d think I’m living the dream. And honestly, that’s a reality check I need sometimes.
If your younger self desperately wanted to be a father, a husband, or someone who was strong and capable, then maybe today’s stress isn’t a sign that life is bad. Instead, it’s evidence that you’ve built the kind of life that actually matters—a life full of the things that are truly important. Maybe it’s just a sign that you’re not just surviving—you’re building the life that once felt like a dream.
3. It Helps You Reignite Passion
When was the last time you did something just because it was fun? When was the last time you tried something new just for the adventure of it?
Once we realize our life is better than we sometimes think, the next step is making sure we don’t just settle—we keep growing, learning, and living with passion. This question can also help rekindle something we often lose as we grow older: passion. Twelve-year-old you wasn’t obsessed with being “productive” every second of the day. He probably had hobbies, dreams, and wild ideas. Sure, not all of them were great—he also probably thought eating an entire box of cereal in one sitting was a solid plan—but there was an energy there that we tend to lose as adults.
To reignite that spark, it might mean revisiting an old hobby, stepping out on a new adventure, or simply learning to let loose more often. Because let’s be honest—12-year-old you wasn’t about optimizing workflow efficiency. He was about fun, exploration, and maybe blowing stuff up (in a safe way, of course).
The One-Week Experiment: Reconnect with Your 12-Year-Old Self
Here’s your mission: For the next seven days, step into your 12-year-old mindset and do at least one thing he would think is awesome.
Try picking up an old hobby you used to love—something that once brought you joy. Take on an adventure—whether it’s rock climbing, building something cool, or learning a new skill. Engage in something purely for fun, without worrying about productivity.
At the end of the week, take a moment to reflect: Did it change how you see your daily life? Did it make things a little lighter, a little more fun? And after the week is up? Don’t stop there. Keep checking in with 12-year-old you. He might just have more to teach you.
Because at the end of the day, the kid you used to be wasn’t looking for perfection. He was just hoping you’d turn out to be someone who was strong, fun, and worth looking up to.
And also, maybe he was hoping you’d have figured out how to build a working hoverboard by now.
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