I’ll be honest—I’ve never been in a men’s group. Not because I don’t believe in them, but because I’ve never really known how to find one. It’s not like there’s a neon sign that says, “Brotherhood Meets Here—Free Coffee, Zero Judgment.” And, if I’m being even more honest, I haven’t taken the time I probably should to figure it out.

But everywhere I look, the message is clear—men need real connection. Not just casual small talk or a group chat that only comes alive during football season, but actual brotherhood. The kind that calls you out, lifts you up, and makes you better.

Since I haven’t been in a group myself (yet), I figured I’d do the next best thing—I asked my friend Jeff Scott, who has been part of a men’s group for years. And yes, I know what you’re thinking: Another Jeff? It’s a little confusing, but don’t worry—he spells it the boring way. I, on the other hand, am a man of culture and unnecessary silent letters.

Jeff (the other one) has seen it all, from guys showing up skeptical to men walking away changed. What he shared convinced me I’ve been missing out.

So rather than pretending to be the expert, I’ll let Jeff take it from here.

Here’s his take on why no man thrives alone.

By Jeff Scott, Guest Contributor

No Man Thrives Alone: A Men’s Group Can Change The Game

In Why Men Need Brotherhood: The Power and Benefits of Male Friendships, we covered the stats—men are lonelier, more addicted, and more isolated than ever. We’re numbing out of our own lives at alarming rates.

Playing Russian Roulette With My Life

Being checked out takes many forms. In my twenties, I did everything I could to avoid reality. I chased all the wrong things—partying like it was 1999, living recklessly, and worst of all, not caring that I was hurting the people I loved most. I made selfish choices and numbed myself to the consequences. I thought I was just having fun, but really, I was spinning out.

Then came the wake-up call—a car accident, the result of several bad choices. I could have died. Worse, someone else could have. In that moment, it hit me: This isn’t who I’m supposed to be. I was capable of more. More purpose. More peace. More love.

But I had no idea how to get there.

Joining a Men’s Group

At first, I wasn’t sure exactly what I was looking for, but I knew one thing—I wasn’t going to figure it out alone. That’s how I ended up in a men’s group. Not because I had a clear vision, but because I desperately needed something more than what I had.

I ended up at a local church, even though it wasn’t my first choice. Despite my past resentment toward church, I was desperate for change. Walking into that first meeting, I didn’t know what to expect—maybe just a room full of guys making small talk about sports and video games.

But it wasn’t that.

These were men from all walks of life, each carrying something heavy.

What A Men’s Group Can Look Like

Over the years, I’ve seen some weighty stuff:

  • A man fighting for sobriety.
  • A husband trying to stay faithful in his marriage.
  • A son grieving the loss of his dad.

The list goes on. But here’s what I’ve learned—we all carry something. And if you don’t have a place to lay it down, it will crush you.

Not if. When.

The groups I’ve been in have focused on the radical life of Jesus—what it means to lead with love, grace, wisdom, peace, and strength. But here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter what kind of group you join. Just make sure it has a purpose. Study something, find tools, books, inspiration—anything that will challenge you and help you grow into the best version of yourself.

I’ve seen men confess things they’ve never told another soul—not because they were forced to, but because they were finally in a place where they could. I’ve watched guys come in feeling like they were drowning and walk out lighter—not because their problems were magically solved, but because they weren’t carrying them alone anymore.

We pray. We challenge each other. We hold each other accountable. It’s not a bunch of guys sitting in a circle singing Kumbaya. It’s real life. It’s brotherhood. And yeah, it’s uncomfortable.

But so is struggling alone.

Why It Matters

🔥 You Can’t Carry It All Alone – Life is heavy. A good group of men lightens the load.
🔍 You Need a Mirror – We all have blind spots. A real brother won’t let you stay in them.
⚔️ Iron Sharpens Iron – You will not become a better man by accident.

What’s at Stake

“You want to be around people who challenge you to the core of your soul and make you find more of yourself when you believe you have no more left.”
— David Goggins

What if you’re capable of more? More strength, more wisdom, more discipline, more peace… more love?

What if you never take the steps to become that man?

This is where brotherhood comes in. You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. In fact, you shouldn’t. We were made for community. We were made to carry each other’s burdens.

So, if you’re even slightly intrigued, take the next step. Find a local group. If that’s not an option, get creative. Start one with a few guys you trust. Just reach out and have a real conversation.

You don’t have to figure it all out today, but you do have to start.

No man thrives alone.

The Focused Fool Newsletter – Growing as Men. Leading as Fathers.