Motivation is great… when you have it. It’s like that friend who hypes you up to start a new diet, then disappears when it’s time to order salad instead of fries.
The problem? Motivation is unreliable. It shows up randomly, leaves without warning, and almost never sticks around when you actually need it (like at 5 AM when your alarm goes off for the gym).
For a long time, I believed I needed to feel motivated to take action. Turns out, I had it completely backward. Action creates motivation, not the other way around.
Let’s break this down.
Push vs. Pull Motivation: The Two Ways We Get Off the Couch
Push Motivation: The “Oh Crap, I Gotta Move” Energy
This is when external pressure forces you into action. Deadlines, commitments, and sheer panic become your fuel.
Example: My recent house move.
We found our dream home (yay!), but our current house wasn’t ready to sell (boo). After three years of casually remodeling, I suddenly had two weeks to finish everything. And guess what? I got it all done.
Why? Because I had no choice. The looming deadline shoved me into turbo mode.
What’s great about it?
✅ Lights a fire under you (sometimes literally).
✅ Procrastination doesn’t stand a chance.
✅ Gets things done FAST.
What’s not-so-great?
❌ Feels like running on adrenaline (because it is).
❌ Stress levels: High. Sanity levels: Low.
❌ The second the pressure is gone, so is the motivation.
Pull Motivation: The “This Actually Feels Good” Energy
This is when passion and purpose pull you toward something. No one has to force you—you just want to do it.
Example? This newsletter.
I don’t have to bribe myself to write—it’s something I look forward to because I want to be a better man, husband, and father, and I want to help other men do the same.
What’s great about it?
✅ Long-lasting, sustainable, and drama-free.
✅ Feels natural instead of forced.
✅ Tied to purpose, which makes it meaningful.
What’s not-so-great?
❌ Hard to tap into when you’re tired, stressed, or just not feeling it.
❌ No urgency = “I’ll start next week” syndrome.
❌ Takes time to build—no instant kick-in-the-pants effect.
So… Which One is Better?
Neither.
Push motivation can force you to start.
Pull motivation can keep you going.
But the only thing that actually matters? Taking action.
Action > Motivation, Every Time
Motivation is fickle. It’s like a bad roommate—sometimes helpful, mostly unreliable, and gone when you need it most.
This is why Mel Robbins straight-up calls motivation “garbage.” She says if you sit around waiting to feel like doing something, you’ll never do it. That’s why she swears by the 5-Second Rule:
- The moment you have an instinct to act—don’t overthink it.
- Count 5-4-3-2-1.
- Move before your brain convinces you otherwise.
Simple, but it works. It tricks your brain into action before your excuses can show up.
Chris Williamson from Modern Wisdom takes it even further—he says motivation is overrated because action should be automatic. Instead of relying on inspiration, build habits and systems that make action the default.
That one hit home for me. I used to rely on willpower for everything—exercising, writing, even drinking enough water (why is that so hard?). But once I started setting non-negotiable systems, things got easier.
Take eating healthy. I’ve learned that if junk food is in the house, I will eat it. No amount of motivation is strong enough to resist a bag of chips when I’m hungry. So, I don’t rely on motivation—I rely on systems:
- I remove junk food so it’s not even an option.
- I meal prep ahead of time, so there’s no thinking involved.
No thought. Just action.
That’s the secret. If you make the right actions the easiest option, you don’t need motivation at all.
How to Get Moving (Even When You Don’t Want To)
- Use the 5-Second Rule – When you know you need to do something, count 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move. (No excuses. No “just one more TikTok.”)
- Set External Deadlines – If you’re struggling to start, create push motivation: commit to a race, tell someone your goal, or set a deadline that forces action.
- Find Your Why – If a task feels pointless, connect it to something meaningful. “I’m not just working out; I’m making sure I can outrun my kids for as long as possible.”
- Make It a Habit – System > Willpower. Set up routines that remove decision-making so action becomes automatic. (Chris Williamson says so, and he’s a smart dude.)
- Do the First Tiny Step – Don’t commit to “writing a book.” Just commit to writing one sentence. Then another. And another. (Small actions kill inertia.)
The Bottom Line
Forget waiting to feel motivated. If you do that, you’ll be waiting forever.
Some days, you’ll need a push. Other days, you’ll feel pulled toward your goal. But no matter what, action is the only thing that matters.
So, what’s one thing—right now—that you know you need to do? Count 5-4-3-2-1 and start. Your future self will thank you.
The Focused Fool Newsletter – Because wisdom comes from knowing where to direct your attention.
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