“The first time my oldest daughter asked me ‘why,’ I felt brilliant—like I held the keys to the universe. She believed I had all the answers, and for a fleeting moment, so did I.” By the 347th time, I was ready to fake my own disappearance.
At first, her endless questions felt like a superpower—proof that she saw the world as a puzzle waiting to be solved. But then, something changed. The questions slowed. The curiosity faded. My kids, who once explored the world with relentless wonder, now just wanted straightforward answers. Even though they attend one of the top public schools in our state, I could see their natural inquisitiveness slipping away.
I had to ask myself—was school encouraging curiosity, or just efficiency? Were they being taught to think, or just to memorize?
Why Traditional Education Prioritizes Answers Over Questions
To help me understand what might be going on, I started digging into Western education. I found that before the 19th century, education in the West was reserved for the elite, focusing on philosophy, rhetoric, and debate—training minds to think critically. The expansion of public education was a tremendous step forward, making learning accessible to the masses. But as schools grew to accommodate more students, the focus shifted from intellectual exploration to standardization, prioritizing efficiency over deep thinking.
Modern education wasn’t built to create free-thinking philosophers sipping coffee and debating the mysteries of the universe. It was designed to produce obedient workers. The system we have today took heavy inspiration from the Prussian model, which emphasized discipline, routine, and unquestioning obedience. Schools weren’t just about learning; they were about training students to fit into a structured, predictable system.
At the time, this made sense. Society needed workers who followed schedules and took orders. But times have changed, and the education system… well, it kind of hasn’t. Schools still prioritize standardized testing, rote memorization, and rigid curriculums. Instead of questioning and analyzing, students learn to chase the “right” answer—often at the expense of deeper understanding.
Which made me wonder—do other countries have a secret sauce for teaching kids to think critically? Or is everyone just as confused as I am, but with fancier accents?
Learning from Other Countries
Turns out, some countries actually make critical thinking a priority in education.
Estonia’s schools emphasize problem-solving, digital literacy, and independent thinking. Instead of just memorizing facts, students learn how to apply knowledge in real-world situations. Their approach works—Estonian students consistently rank among the best in the world.
Then there’s Italy’s Reggio Emilia approach, which treats kids like tiny scientists, letting them explore, question, and construct knowledge through experience. Instead of drilling students for standardized tests, Reggio Emilia schools encourage kids to follow their curiosity.
It made me wonder—if some schools could make curiosity the foundation of learning, why couldn’t I do the same at home? Clearly, I’m not in charge of national education policy. But I am in charge of bedtime stories, casual conversations, and subtle psychological experiments at the dinner table—so I got to work.
Why I Want to Build Critical Thinkers
Modern education focuses so much on finding the “right” answer that it unintentionally can teach kids to fear failure. Instead of seeing mistakes as part of the learning process, many students are programmed to avoid risk, to wait for direction, and to prioritize being correct over thinking for themselves.
But real success—whether in work, relationships, or personal growth—requires taking action despite uncertainty. That’s why I want to instill an entrepreneurial mindset in my kids. Not because I expect them all to start businesses, but because I want them to see problems, come up with their own solutions, and take initiative instead of waiting for permission.
In a world where information is everywhere, I want my kids to develop their own conclusions, connect ideas across different disciplines, and challenge assumptions rather than simply accepting what they’re told.
So, if schools aren’t going to teach them how to think this way, I decided I would.
How I’m Teaching My Kids to Think for Themselves
If schools weren’t going to teach critical thinking, I was going to have to do it myself. Sneakily.
One of my favorite tricks is giving my kids incorrect information to see if they catch it. When I read bedtime stories, I’ll casually change details—”And then the Big Bad Wolf politely knocked on the pig’s door and asked to borrow a cup of sugar…” If they don’t correct me, I keep going. If they do? Bingo. They’re paying attention and questioning what they hear.
I’ve also told them completely ridiculous things like, “The sun revolves around the Earth,” just to see if they challenge me. (So far, they usually do.)
Another strategy? Encouraging debate—even when it’s inconvenient. One night, my oldest son insisted he should be allowed to eat ice cream before dinner. Instead of shutting it down, I told him to make his case. He argued nutritional value (calcium in ice cream = strong bones), fairness (“You get to eat whatever you want!”), and even psychology (“If I’m happy, I’ll behave better!”). Did he win? No. But did he get better at constructing arguments? Absolutely.
I also expose them to multiple perspectives. If we only ever get our information from one source, we’re setting ourselves up for intellectual laziness. We read books with conflicting viewpoints, discuss history from different angles, and ask, “What if the other side has a point?”
And finally, I teach them to ask, “Says who?” Whenever they hear a “fact,” I encourage them to question the source. If the answer is “some guy on YouTube,” we talk about reliable information. If it’s “my teacher,” we discuss how even smart, well-meaning people can be wrong. If it’s “Mom,” well… we swiftly change the subject.
A Plan to Build Critical Thinkers
After a lot of trial and error, here’s my plan moving forward:
- Model curiosity. If I don’t know something, I’ll look it up with them so they see learning in action. I’ll also ask them questions I don’t know the answers to, encouraging them to research and form their own conclusions.
- Make questioning normal. Instead of answering their questions immediately, I’ll sometimes turn it back on them—”That’s a great question! What do you think?”
- Teach them about bias. We’ll talk about how news, history books, and even parents (gulp) have biases, and we’ll play a game where we try to spot them.
- Practice debating. Whether it’s about bedtime, ice cream, or which superhero would win in a fight, I’ll let them make their case.
- Encourage failure. If they’re afraid of being wrong, they’ll stop thinking for themselves. We’ll celebrate mistakes as learning opportunities.
Final Thoughts
The world is full of people who accept what they’re told without questioning it. I don’t want my kids to be those people. I want them to think for themselves, challenge ideas, and recognize nonsense when they hear it (including from me, for fun).
In the long run, I’d rather have kids who challenge the status quo than kids who blindly follow it. And thankfully, I’m already seeing signs that they’re thinking for themselves.
One of my favorite moments recently was when my five-year-old, deep in thought, asked, “Why do we call it Peanut Butter? Aren’t there lots of peanuts in the jar? Shouldn’t we call it Peanuts Butter?”
His little mind is already working, and I love it. It’s a reminder that kids are naturally wired to think critically—we just need to make sure we don’t train it out of them.
(Except when I tell them to clean their rooms. Then, I demand unquestioning obedience.)
The Focused Fool Newsletter – Growing as Men. Leading as Fathers.
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